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"Being honest to others and to myself"

I intend to return to the work force in my chosen trade as Chef in a hotel yet to be determined. I plan in sending out my resumes shortly after I arrive at L’Exode in the hope of attaining employment at the part time level to start. This move will allow me the time to also join a fitness centre in order to lose a little excess weight as well as spending the most amount of time with my family.

Michael

 

I remember April 26 like it was just yesterday, that was the day I arrived here at Dianova. Just prior to that, I completed a therapy at Portage which took six months. Feeling as if I could just conquer anything I arrived at the delta reinsertion centre. This is where my problems began. Just having purchased a brand new vehicle, free as a bird and with money in my pocket, it immediately led into a party or celebration mode. And to celebrate my success, I thought I could get away with purchasing and consuming only two beers. How wrong I was. The staff at Delta confronted me and I did not hesitate to confess. Right there and then I decided another therapy was imminent. Therefore I called Dianova from a suggestion of a friend. Because I knew that I was still fragile I accepted to pursue a four month program, to figure out what it was that I still needed to focus on to help me achieve a sober life.

Knowing that with cirrhosis of the liver I cannot drink is motivation enough to acquire every tool possible for a successful recovery. Here at Dianova, I learned many things; the first being the importance of not only being honest to others but most importantly being honest to myself as well. I strongly believe that my dishonesty to myself is what led me to relapse in the first place. I`ve also noticed the importance of abiding to a balanced structure, that will allow me to function at peak efficiency and satisfaction. Some other things I`ve realized is my ability to be much more patient. Rather than wanting it all and having it right now. I`ve come to the realization than in the real world not everything will always according to plan and to be able to accept that.

Being fresh out of Portage and following the program at Dianova, I’ve been able to combine what I`ve learnt there and the material I`ve covered here and implemented them into my daily life. While being at Dianova I can honestly say that I did not incur very many difficulties, rather than just minor adjustments that I needed to make towards the regulations of the centre. I take a lot of pride in my involvement in the kitchen as well as the kitchen committee through out each phase. Although the kitchen has always been my main interest due to eighteen years working in hotels and restaurants, it still gave me great pleasure in sharing my experience with others. Another aspect that prides me about myself is the ability in keeping my emotions and moods relatively stable day after day. And also I received great pleasure in knowing that I was always able to make people smile with my humor witch helped me build my self esteem.

For the last portion of this letter I will focus on my recovery after Dianova. For starters what I have waiting for me is my family. Without their constant support and encouragement and love my life would be a lot more difficult than it already is today. After I depart from here I will be going to L’Exode reinsertion centre. The reason for this is that for twelve years I have resided in Iqaluit, Nunavut in which I have adapted myself to an entirely different way of life and culture. I feel by being in reinsertion for a minimum of three months, it would benefit me into a life of being back in Montreal.
           
Furthermore I intend to return to the work force in my chosen trade as Chef in a hotel yet to be determined. I plan in sending out my resumes shortly after I arrive at L’Exode in the hope of attaining employment at the part time level to start. This move will allow me the time to also join a fitness centre in order to lose a little excess weight as well as spending the most amount of time with my family.

I will be attending several A.A meetings per week, with the hopes of acquiring a solid sponsor who will coach me throughout my early recovery and also in hopes of enlarging my support network as well. I strongly believe that by implying myself within the fellowship will greatly increase my capacity for success in my recovery.

The key factors that I am to avoid while in recovery for myself will be, not allowing the room for me to fall into boredom. From past experiences I’ve learnt that this leads me to loneliness and then eventually to a relapse. That is the main reason for me to follow a regimented structure to avoid as much as possible these difficulties.

Another point that I need to take into consideration is avoiding any triggers. I plan on avoiding any form of parties where alcohol will be served and will ask for help when confronted with the slightest trigger or craving before it can become out of control.

Michael